It has to be one of the longest-running shows on TV and has aired virtually every weekday since 1965. Jesus Christ.
Having never watched the show before, except accidentally after The Price is Right, now seemed like as good a time to dive in.
The following is my live commentary for episode 11/16/2016. There are so many episodes of this show, they don’t even have seasons. They just have dates.
The episode opens with an old guy giving who seems to be his daughter a big hug. She is helpless and Brady’s love is stronger than she initially believed. But, she can handle whatever it is she has to handle. Scene.
Someone is absent from someone else’s bedtime. Scene
(This is not the easiest show to jump into. It’s so dramatic so fast.)
Now there’s a courtroom scene. Someone pulled a trigger. It feels like a lot of people have died in this show over the years. Who writes this stuff? How dramatic is their life?
Theme song – “Like sand through the hourglass, so too are the days of our lives.”
Someone, presented exhibit A. Someone else objected. “OVERRULED.” One guy in this scene is really pronunciation his “P”s. Scene.
There seems to be a guy who looks like David Spade in the courtroom, and he has an eye patch. It is wild that nobody is making a big deal about this guy. Is he a main character? ARRRRGHHH! Okay, they’re cutting to him way too much. He must be a main character.
“The defence calls Hope Brady to the stand.” Scene. Commercial break.
We are back to the old guy and his daughter. She’s crying and must be in a real struggle situation. She re-affirms she can do whatever it is she needs – DRUGS, IT’S DRUGS THAT ARE HER PROBLEM. Scene.
Two people talking about someone being stoned. A baby cries and then the lady goes and picks up the baby. The guy has said “doted” 3 times in a couple of sentences. It’s very distracting because how many times does anyone say “doted.” Apparently this stoned lady wants to divorce this guy. Honestly, it’s probably because he says “doted” so often. Scene.
We’re back in the courtroom and a lady is talking to the judge. She was kidnapped but also somehow is being blamed for murder. She gets sent to sit back down and literally the most dramatic music starts playing as the prosecution calls forward a witness. Scene. Commercial break.
Back to the baby people. The “doted” guy is going to look for someone named Teresa. Scene.
Okay, now we are back to the old guy and his dau – OH MY GOSH it just cut to the most spooky looking warehouse and a guy talking in the creepiest accent. So foreign. So spooky. Scene.
Ugh. Courtroom scene again. Over it. Time for a break.
Okay, so there’s only 5 minutes left of the episode and not much else has happened. It seems like that one girl and her old father are involved with the mob. Super dramatic. A guy called her “chicka,” which was pretty cool.
The courtroom story unfolded like how you would imagine. The lady (Hope Brady) was guilty, but it was pretty wild because some guy with bushy eyebrows told her that he would confess to what he did (whatever it is he did) and she told him not to. This poor lady took the blame for what bushy eyebrows did. SHE WAS SENTENCED TO 25 YEARS IN PRISON. Shittttttay. They also cut to what seemed like an endless number of people that had to have been main characters. Eyepatch guy made a speech too defending Hope.
The guy looking for Teresa found her, and she was sleeping with some hot Spanish dude and snorting cocaine! It seems like a ploy though, so maybe don’t be too worried about Teresa.
Oh, also something worth noting: Every house was so lavishly furnished! It was spectacular. Fireplaces were on when people entered into rooms. Could you even imagine being that fancy?
Okay, so that wasn’t as bad as expected. Don’t know if it’s a show worth getting into, but who knows.
Lastly, if someone has watched this thing since the start, they are worthy of a medal. Reddit user InPlainSightSC2 calculated that it would take 10,663 hours (aka 1.2 years of LIFE!). DAYS OF YOUR LIFE. DAYSSSSSS. THE PUNS ARE ENDLESS!!!